How to thrive on Super Bowl Sunday (even if you know nothing about football)
Ok, I’ll admit I’ve been watching/listening to football since I was being brewed in the womb. Being a football girl was always in the cards for me.
That said, I know it was not the norm for a lot of girls growing up. Maybe you even like football, but you just need some pointers or tips to really follow the game and the teams/players in it. Maybe you’re sick of only talking Super Bowl commercials and halftime performances, and you want to get into conversations and debates about the actual game.
So, LET’S DO THIS. Time to put on your helmet and put your game face on – you’re coming off the bench.
Super Bowl Sunday is the perfect time for you to do so. So please, enter my world now…
Here’s the basics you’ll need to know:
Aka the red, white and blue team you watched win last year. They are the favorite to win again this year even though many of their hotshots are out for the season with injuries. Still, these guys are the heavy favorites and they know it.
This is the dark green/teal team with GNARLY fans. Philly was one of the best teams the whole season despite losing their young QB Carson Wentz to an ACL tear (we’ll get to that later). And even though they’ve been the top ranked team most of the season, they’ve been under dogs all of the post season – hence, the german shepherd dog masks you’re going to see in excess. The Eagles are the only No. 1 seed ever to be an underdog in their opening playoff game.
— HC Bill Belichick is the never smiling, cut-off-hoodie-wearing brains behind the Pats whole operation.
— QB Tom Brady (I know you know who this is, even if you know him as Gisele’s man or you’ve seen him in an UGG ad.)
— TE Rob Gronkowski is out with a concussion currently but is expected to play. So our favorite party animal might be on the field come game time.
— WR Julian Edelman (also serious man candy) is out with an ACL tear from earlier in the season.
— HC Doug Pederson (formerly the Kansas City Chiefs offensive coordinator) has been killing it with his young/old player combo.
— WR Alshon Jeffery may have annoyed you in fantasy points the past couple years, but this season he’s been fire. He’s a safe bet to make it in the endzone.
— RB LeGarrette Blount. The Eagles RB used to play for the Pats last season and, according to ESPN, says he’s not talking to his former Patriots teammates until after the Super Bowl and is in “enemy mode” until then. Big dramatic play coming his way? Well, it sure would be entertaining. And if he does, you’ll be ready with your “revenge is sweet” line.
If you have that down, you’re already killing it, but just in case let’s give you some fun facts to really surprise your friends.
If the Patriots win the Super Bowl, Tom Brady (40) will become the oldest QB in NFL history to have done so.
If Bill Belichick wins this Super Bowl, he will be the winningest NFL Head Coach of all time, passing Vince Lombardi (five championships.)
This is not the first time the Eagles and the Pats have faced off in the Super Bowl. The Pats beat the Eagles in 2004 in Super Bowl XXXIX.
The Eagles have never won a Super Bowl. They have three NFL Titles (the name of the title before “Super Bowl” came along) and appeared in two Super Bowls, but never won.
Now if you really want to get cocky with your new knowledge after a couple brewskis with the boys…
The Patriots team will be a completely different team next year in terms of coaching. Defensive coordinator Matt Patricia is leaving to become the head coach of the Detroit Lions. Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels is leaving too to become the head coach of the Indianapolis Colts. And there’s a possibility Belichick is leaving too. But that’s another story (literally, we have a story on TCD about it.)
As for the Eagles, they have some questions to address at QB now that Foles has somewhat proven himself. When Wentz comes back from injury, do you immediately put him back in? I mean, I think the only answer here is OF COURSE, but that’s just me.
With all that said, friend, you’re ready.
Absorb the information in this post and get game day ready. Oh, and pick a team to root for!
Once you’ve picked your team to root for you’re probably now thinking, “what the hell do I wear?” — we’ve got you covered there, too. Check out Hailey’s post on what to wear on SB Sunday.
Super Bowl 52 goes down February 4th in the new Minnesota stadium at 3:30 p.m. PST.
My work here is done. Now, go get ’em tiger.