Edible Underwear Has Officially Gone Too Far…
So when I say that you think little CANDY bras and panties, right?
Invented in 1975 by two young entrepreneurs from Chicago, edible underwear or “Candy Pants” as they were referred to back then, took off. Making over $150,000 dollars in profit each month, the “garment” immediately became arguably the most divisive novelty item in American history.
But of course, our generation went too far with the idea per usual.
Today, options have expanded as far as “Beef Jerky Briefs” and lingerie shops in Louisiana are accepting food stamps in exchange for these edible undergarments. Yes, I’m being totally serious. But let’s go back to that first thing I mentioned…
I’ll let that sink in. Isn’t that a bit terrifying? Like, think about eating a piece of beef jerky. It’s not like eating a little candy piece off a string. You really got pull on that. This seems hazardous to me. Warning label could be necessary…
Online you can even find chicks selling licorice thongs that have “only been worn once.” Stop. Just, stop. Don’t worry guys, ONLY BEEN WORN ONCE! Well what a relief. ARE YOU F#@%ING KIDDING ME?!
What the hell happened to normal little candy ones they sell at candy stores?! What’s next, bacon boobs?!
So that brings me back to my first question… Is it worth it? Sorry guys but I’m thinking no on this one. Although, I did receive a (joke) set of candy-necklace bra and panties from my best friend in high school and I will say it was pretty delicious. No, they were not worn beforehand.
But hey, try ’em out if you dare! Just avoid the beef jerky man briefs unless you’re a Viking or something.